SHAME + MODELING + SLUTTINESS: these words are on my mind…
For me and for many other women I know, getting made up and taking beautiful, sexy photos is a form of self expression that we would do if no one else were watching. It isn’t about seeking validation. I have loved dressing up and being a girly girl for as long as I can remember.
As a child model, people thought I was adorable. But in 2016, when I started modeling again as an adult, I got a lot of push-back from family and certain friends. “How can you do that when the world is in shambles? Where are your values? You are so much more than just a pretty face.” Shame took over and I stepped back.
At 30 years old, en route to getting my PhD in psychology, I have decided to start modeling again. This time, I’m not going to let the fear that people will consider me less substantial stop me from doing something I love and enjoy. I know what my intention is; if other people create a story, that is their prerogative and the pleaser in me will have to surrender. If she is hurting, I will hold her. If shame comes up again, I will lovingly navigate its depths.
Now for the slutty piece, which I feel like is so present in our conversations at the moment: the assumption that a woman is easy because she celebrates her vessel and shares it publicly is absolute and utter nonsense. End of story.
Why is it considered GOOD to hide the fact that we are sexual beings? Why is it considered BAD for this to be a piece of our self expression? Morality is a human construct. We each get to choose how much of it we each buy into. We each have the opportunity to intentionally decide what feels best for us.
Lastly on this subject… If a man sees a photo I’ve posted and presumes that I’m easy, that’s a reflection of his ignorance, not of what I do or do not allow between my legs. It shows that he has not been taught to appreciate a female figure, but to objectify it. That is okay, and so is my photo. Art is meant to be subjective.
I am choosing to create a reality in which I can be a woman of great merit and also show up as feminine, sexy and expressed. Maybe even more pertinent: I can’t control what you think of me, even if I wanted to. But I COULD become so small that I eventually lost myself and my integrity altogether. This last piece is not an option for me.
Please DM me with thoughts if you have some to share, as always, I love chatting with you guys.